April 15th

Ahh yes, good old April 15th. We all know what today is…the day the Titanic sank. Rose, don’t let go of Jack’s hand…or else you won’t be able to have kids to claim as dependents. And filing jointly…forget about it!

What? What? What’s wrong with making pop-culture references from eight years ago? When you are as cool as me, you can mention happenings from as far back as 11 years! Observe: So I was walking down the street when Marcia Clark and Chris Darden came up to me. Marcia asked me if I have the time. To which I replied, “Time cannot be possessed. Unless you mean the magazine, in which case I do not have a subscription.” Chris apologized for Marcia’s grammatical error, and clarified that they were indeed searching for the magazine. I then pointed them to a newsstand down the street, at which point they thanked me and we parted ways.

What’s the moral of this anecdote? Be sure to indicate if you forgot your watch or if you are looking for a weekly news publication. Or else, I might write about you!